I am surprised this one isn't tear stained.. but.. I have to draw.. have to throw myself into it!! It is my saving grace! Having a rough day.. If he is gone I am fine.. But.. now he is hanging around.. and I can hardly handle it! Monday cannot get here fast enough.. See lawyer at 4pm..
Here is James K. Polk. our 11th president
James K. Polk the 11th President of the United States (1845-1849) was one of the greats.
His legacy includes the fulfillment of the “manifest destiny” a term coined in 1845 by New York Morning News magazine editor John L. O’Sullivan.
The actions of James K. Polk and his role as Commander in Chief brought Texas, Oregon, California, Nevada, New Mexico, Arizona, Utah and parts of Wyoming and Colorado into the Union.
"It’s a shame that the Presidents and Congress over the last 20 years have lacked the political courage and common sense to defend and protect against uncontrolled immigration that has done great damage to these wonderful States."
Looks like a very intense man!!!!
I adore Tab Benoit!!
Famous for his Cajun Blues!!! Fabulous guitarist.. and love his voice as well!!
- Current Mood: indescribable
Well.. I do not know where to start..
Well.. I guess at the beginning of this week.
Firstly, I have contacted a lawyer.. he has given me great advice.. and have an appointment on Monday, to see what my rights are.. how to proceed..etc..etc...etc..File paper work... etc...
From what I was told.. if he does leave the home. I can pretty much petition the court for his wages to be garnished...etc.
He says that I may qualify for alimony, child support (of course), I will also get his pension, retirement, the list goes on and on!!!
He was of course unaware of all these details!! He thinks we are going to be roommates.. till how ever long it will take to get himself sorted out!! Yeah.. Right.... He is the stupidest man I have ever met!.. wait.. I know most never think with their brain!!
My poor sister had to live with her ex for over a year.. (they had tons of money to haggle over.. reason for the length).. but she said it was the worst thing she had ever been through.It has been over 7 years.. and they still are in court haggling over something.. the kids are put in the middle.. a real nightmare.. She is trying to school me on what NOT to do!!. I am praying that my situation will not go this far!.. I have no real assets.. (house of course).. no real debt.. but.. he MUST support the boys!! I can take care of myself.. BUT!! I am so angry and hurt right now!! It is taking every bit of strength to keep myself composed and not throwing his shit out on the front lawn!!! oh wait.. and setting it ablaze!!!! I keep telling myself.. keep it together for the kids.........!! They do not need their mom going nutter!!
He swears he hasn't been intimate.. I told him I have to be checked for diseases..etc.. I am talking about my life here!!
I am ignoring his lies.. why would I believe him... He has lied to me so much... my head is spinning..
Going for check up this week.. Need my yearly anyway!
I got a call tonight.. from a friend.. really a business friend.. They started by asking how Bill and I were doing? and I told them..
They then proceeded to tell me he was with his lady friend out for dinner, (here is the idiot part), where all my colleagues, neighbors go.. What on earth was he thinking??? there are kids that go with my boys to school.. he is a boy scout leader.!!!!!
They said they would be witnesses in court for me if needed!
I am so mad.. because... I could barely afford groceries this week!!! WTF!!!!!! He spent our food money on going out with her!!!!!!!!
I took a deep breath.. listened to my sister's advice.. do not lose it!! Just file it away in the "This is gonna help my case file"!!
I will tell the lawyer this on Monday... I am hoping he may go ahead and file papers to start paying support.. etc... (he mentioned if he was not supporting the kids that I had every right to garnish his wages.. even before the divorce is final)
Only problem going this route.. which is the nasty route!!.. but, I am beyond being the nice one anymore.. It does cost me more!!
I do have money coming from Taxes.. which I told him, he cannot touch.. so hopefully, he will just give up.. and agree.. He doesn't have a dime.. I know the gal pal.. has no money.. she doesn't even have custody of her kids.. a real winner!
What is happening to the world.. We have 9 people just at my school... who are getting divorces.. Have people lost their souls??
Have folks lost their common decency????!!!! I just do not get it!! I am such a compassionate person.. try to give my shirt off to people that need my help... I love to help!! I will always do this! Cannot change my character.. but, It has broken my spirit a little!! and sooooo sad!
I am sorry all for posting a downer again!! If I do not write down.. what I am thinking.. by brain and heart will explode!!
OK.... I am ok.. I promise.. I just do not know what to do..
I just wish he would go away.. seeing him.. just kills me... out of sight.. I am fine.. I can cope.. I am such a better person...
I have to pray hard tonight to please give me the strength to keep strong and keep my boys safe.. and keep them from hurting like I am!
I know they will be hurt.. they will be devastated....
I have to thank all my wonderful friends, here and my colleagues and friends here... They have been so wonderful!! I am so blessed!!!!
Now... I really need a Sean Bean marathon!!!!
Lady Chatterley or Sharpe????!!
Sharpe kicks ass so I think that is what I need!!!
I promise.. I will try and post positive soon.. I am having a life altering event.. and it is a good one.. Out with the trash!!
Well... it is true.. He finally admitted he now has a gal friend.. He says they have not been intimate.. but when has he been honest with me over the past months?
It is after midnight.. cannot sleep...
All I can think about is how devastated my boys are going to be..
I am hurt..devastated.. but.. I am DONE!!
I am going to seek advice with an attorney this week.. to find out what my rights are..
Can I throw his sorry ass out!!
Can I have a judge force him to pay mortgage.???
Do we just cohabitate till I can figure out a way for the boys and I to have a home..
Of course, I saved the blasted house.. which at least we have a roof over our heads..
I really want him gone.. cannot stand to be around him.. hurts toooo much..
Been a good woman and not fought with him around the kids.. but... wow.... I feel I am living in a nightmare at the moment.
I have to some how... cope.. I know I will.. but, I do not know what gives people the right to hurt others so carelessly...
I am not sure how to handle things at the moment.
Of course.. hubby is an idiot.. and doesn't realize.. what is in store for him.. I am a smart cookie.. and I promise that I will get what my children deserve..
I am so angry right now.. I am lawyering up... and have him throw the book at him...
Anyone out there divorce lawyers?? of course... each state is different.. and they usually always have the childrens welfare under consideration..
Hubby is under the illusion that he only has to pay child support.. well he has another thing coming..!!
22 years of marriage... I take half!!!
I am trying to stay calm.. have to find the courage to make it through the day.. I need to sleep... not sure how I am going to do that!!
Thanks again.. friends for letting me vent!! If I couldn't spill my guts here.. I think I would go crazy.. Well off to try and close my eyes without visions of hiring a hit man!!! ok.. just kidding.... !!
#4. "Stupify" Disturbed.... for the days I need to get really angry!!
#3. "Superstar" The Carpenters.. reminds me of my childhood!
#2: "Somebody to Love" Queen
#1: "Stay Awhile" Journey
I have NOT done this before .. but here we are again.... =)
1. Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
2. List (and upload) 5 songs you love that begin with that letter.
3. Post them to your journal with these instructions.
Well.. had a good day... didn't accomplish as much as I thought I would.. Had the boys take the day off today..
It was my oldests first day with the therapist..
They didn't invite me in on the first meeting.. I was kinda shocked.. But, I do trust the therapist.. she is a 60ish.. lovely put together woman, with 30 years as a family therapist.. with a medical degree... wow, she must be good!
I have been to her once.. it was mainly.. fill out the questionnare...
"do you hear voices telling you to do horrible things???"
"I need to know your family history"... oh lordie... that took up half the session!!!
My project from the therapist to do before my next session.. was try and keep the anxiety at bay!! oh yeah.. RIGHT@!!!!
ok.. I talk a lot with my hands.. and yes.. I am rather intense!!!...Really???!!!!! hahah!!! Try to keep it together around the boys!! NOT, fly of the handle!!! Over exaggerate things!! etc..
Michael is to keep a journal on what he is grateful for daily!
Hem... why didn't I think of that!!
Will have to get back with ya and see how it turns out!
Hubby is still a horses ass!! He seems to be doing better around the boys.. and trying to keep himself home more!!
He is such a dummy right now!! Lordie be!! where is his common sense????!!
Enough on him.. Do not need to waste the typing..!!
I found a new way to sale my works!!
Has anyone heard of this???
Fine Art America????? I haven't researched a whole lot!! but, I thought I would give it a shot!!!!
Please let me know if anyone has used this site b4?!!!
Here is the link!
It almost seems too easy to post your art!!! Too easy not always good!!
Wish me luck.. I will be posting more works tomorrow night..
I have all the original scans... !!
Hope everyone is staying warm... blasted cold here!!!! Absolutely sick of the cold!!!!!!
Have a great Friday!! That is my plan!!!
Before you think I am totally crazy... and have lost my total mind... There are 6 more adults.... yeah.. we are still outnumbered... but it should be fun!! Taking the 2nd grade to the 'Adventure and Science center'!!
Also, taking my oldest for his first therapy session on Thursday...
I have already started.. but wanted the boys to be included..
Hubby, of course refuses to go!! Well... did I really expect him to go... well yes!!!
But, I digress... one of my hubby's friends, who now lives in Arkansas.. and who we usually see on holidays, etc.. contacted me...
Couldn't really believe it.. (he is a super guy.. and we have been friends for years also)
He confessed more to me than I could believe...Not about my husband...(he couldn't believe it) but my husband's best friend who has been his good friend for over 30 years!
Never knew men were so codependent!!
Poor dear was crushed.. couldn't believe what happened.. How insensitive his friend and has become...cruel.... and just couldn't understand..He said he was making a bucket list..(the friend had kidney cancer over a year ago.. had kidney removed, now refuses to go back to doc)
I told him, I totally agreed.. and was in shock too.... and how my husband is trying to follow suit! He said he thinks that hubby is just crushed as well... and feels betrayed... and the closest person to him gets the wrath!! (me)
We had a good talk.. and he made me feel better.. and told me to hold strong.. and thought I was on the right path!
(take care of me and the kids)
Taking the boys out of town this weekend.. visit my mum and sis! Looking forward to the change! Boys, love my mum.. we never see her enough..
Mother called me last week, (I had not told her what was going on)... but, she asked if I was ok... she had the worry feeling!
Knew something was wrong.. Aren't moms great!
She didn't bash hubby, but would love me to just pack up and leave him.. (she never quite understood why I stayed as long as I did, with his unemployment, etc.)
"better or worse"... well this is the worse.. Let's see how long I last!
Well off to draw!! going to watch
The Kings' Speech later....
And thanks to a fantastic friend... I am going to watch
'RED' with Bruce Willis and Karl Urban!!!! YUM!!!
Will let you know if the 2nd graders do me in!!! hahaha!!
So time for my pitty party... havin a good cry... Thank the lord there are tons of great songs out there..to get the tears flowing!!
Seems like there are so many folks staying in horrible relationships so they are not alone..
I totally get it...
I was just lambasted with reality over the past month.. to find out... I have been in love with a total stranger...
I never would have thought, this person in my life, would turn out to be the most selfish, unfeeling person..
What happened??? I ask myself repeatedly.... what happened...
Was I too busy with work, kids, money, etc....etc....etc...
We have always been intimate.. passionate... always thought I was so lucky..
Then all of a sudden.. satan.. or some horrible demon took possession of my husband...
I am over exaggerating.. thanks to, being my father's daughter... (he loved to exaggerate).. but not meant to be literal!! (boy I miss him right now... he was always so sensible and understood me so completely!!)
But, I am an adult... 47 years old.. with 2 boys to care for... who I love dearly...
I am not sure what the next few months will bring.. I pray that he will come to his senses...
Grass is always greener... they say!!!
Boy, do I feel like an idiot...But, after 24 years together.. you would think you would know the person..
Was I wrong...!!!
sorry, for the huge pitty party!! If I do not write this down. I think I would do or say something I would regret!!
I think a Sean Bean marathon is in order..
Since, I think a good cry is in order... 'Anna Karenina' will be top of my list...!!!!!
Thanks all..... for listening to me!!!
Do not take all I say as literal... I am half Irish! County Cork to be exact... and have a tendency for the Blarney!!
But, the ache in my heart is real!!
Hugs to all!!
What took me so long??!!!
Hubby... a bit better. .... still have visions of bashing him with a frying pan.. iron skillet to be exact!!..
Had the opportunity to open a gallery... but that opportunity flew out the window...
The Company, who I was going to do portraits for... fell under financial woes... welcome to the club..
If any of you know who Minnie Pearl is.. does Hee Haw... ring a bell???...she is one of our treasures here in Tennessee.. wonderful woman!..... after her death.. they have a charity called the Sarah Marshall cancer society... worthy cause..
They offered me the opportunity to display my portraits.... I was planning on drawing 3 portraits of her.. They were gung ho.. on having my work...they contacted me.. which is awesome...
Sadly it has come under sponser difficulties.. so postponed till next year!
will be a great forum to promote my work... but.. not in the cards right now!!
Oh, well, welcome to the life of an artist!!
Off to put my feet up!! And have more leisure time to work on 'Game of Thrones' Fan art.. who is interested in seeing more Sean Bean???!!!!!!
Actually, having another girls night out on Saturday.. cannot wait!!
Finally, time to take care of me!!